If It’s Monday, This Must be Murder
by Pat Cook
If It’s Monday, This Must be Murder is presented by arrangement with Dramatic Publishing.
Down and out private detective Harry Monday gets called in on a case and soon finds himself mistaken for a psychiatrist. Three people murdered at the Shady Meadows Country Club, “A place where old polyester goes to die”, he surmises. A prima-dona president, a Wall Street ad man, a surly police sergeant and an astrological moon child soon muddy up the waters until Harry finds himself alone in the lobby, in the line of fire, in the dark.
We welcome performers of all backgrounds to audition!
General Audition Information
Dates and Time: Coming soon!
Location: Liberace Auditorium at the
West Milwaukee Intermediate School
5104 W Greenfield Ave.
West Allis, WI
Cast Member Audition Form
Important Dates
March 29 thru April 8 – Tech week. NO CONFLICTS ALLOWED
April 9, 10, 16, 17 @ 7:30 PM, April 11, 18 @ 2:00 PM – Performances
April 19 – Strike
Not everyone will always be called for rehearsal every night
Character Descriptions
Harry Monday: (Male; Mid 20’s to Mid 30’s) A hard‑boiled, wisecracking private eye straight out of a 1940s detective movie. He’s posing as a golf‑playing psychiatrist at Shady Meadows Country Club. Gruff, sarcastic, and perpetually unimpressed, Harry is the comedic anchor of the show—sharp enough to solve murders, but annoyed he has to deal with these people to do it.
Sergeant Brogan: (Male; 20’s to 60’s) A humorless, no‑nonsense police sergeant. Brogan is perpetually irritated—by Harry, by the murders, and by the general absurdity of Shady Meadows. He’s the straight man in a world of eccentrics.
Cecil DeBorus: (Male; 40’s plus) The pompous, self‑important club president. He wears arrogance “like a medal” and believes he’s the smartest person in any room—he isn’t. Quick to anger, easily offended, and a prime suspect.
Stella Fontaine: (Female; 30’s to 50’s) A determined, sharp‑tongued woman in her late 20s. She’s confident, outspoken, and not afraid to accuse someone of murder if she thinks they deserve it. She often clashes with Cecil.
Glamis Ludlow: (Female; 40’s) A spooky, mystical “moonchild” type in her mid‑40s. She leans into astrology, omens, and eerie pronouncements. Adds a quirky, supernatural flavor to the suspect list.
David Soames: (Male; late 30’s) A slick Wall Street advertising man in his late 30s. Smooth, polished, and always thinking in slogans. He’s clever but not as clever as he thinks he is.
Linus Harcourt: (Male; 40’s to 60’s) A mousy, nervous bookkeeper. Timid and easily flustered, Linus is the kind of man who looks guilty even when he’s done nothing wrong.
Mrs. Pomeroy: (Female; 40’s to 60’s) A large, widowed woman with a commanding presence. She’s blunt, opinionated, and not easily intimidated—except perhaps by murder.
Freida Mae Bristow: (Female; 40’s) A dithering, scatterbrained woman in her late 40s who constantly works crossword puzzles. She’s anxious, distracted, and delightfully odd.
Anita Fay Martoon: (Double cast with Freida Mae Bristow) Freida’s twin sister—played by the same actress. She is never seen at the same time as Freida, adding a comedic layer of confusion and mistaken identity.
Billie Jean Hodecker: (Female; 20’s) An ambitious, naïve woman in her mid‑20s. Eager to please and easily overwhelmed, Billie Jean is earnest but not always perceptive.
George: (Male; 30’s to 40’s) A general factotum (jack‑of‑all‑trades) at Shady Meadows, in his 30s. He’s helpful, unassuming, and—unfortunately—one of the murder victims. His death kicks off the investigation.
Greenskeeper: (Male; 20’s) A young man in his 20s who works the golf course. Straightforward, practical, and mostly bewildered by the chaos around him.
Messenger: (Non-gender or age specific) A Western Union delivery person. Brief appearance, typically used for comedic timing.